Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
