operation harelip BJ is a go
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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