Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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