ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
