There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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