Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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