marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
PS: I just woke up from my shower
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
