there was a trapeze. enough said
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
