Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize