he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
