Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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