what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
