if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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