Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
