its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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