This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
