What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
