Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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