It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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