how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize