Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
