I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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