I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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