she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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