I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Shame is for Republicans.
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