You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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