I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
