So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
