it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I can text with my tongue
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
