Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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