Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
