literally had 100 drinks last night.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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