hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
