4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
