Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
