dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
