drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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