well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
