I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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