Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
