Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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