Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
