i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
BRING THE BAGELS
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
