definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
