My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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