elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
