i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
