So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
