That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it was like eating out sand paper
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
