just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
