i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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