just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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