she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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