I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
