I skipped work to stalk him.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
