She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
what day is it and did you see me today?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize